molding
A tree grows silently in a field; always expanding, forever converting the empty space around it into its own. Every cell works nonstop towards this goal, living only to consume space. We too are always growing; every skill we learn or person we meet turns a piece of the world into our own. And if we have winters of stagnation or even pruning, when it is enough only to keep alive what we already have, keep in mind your brain and body fights always to grow and learn.
Keith Haring writes, "if I always seek to pattern my life after another, mine is being wasted re-doing things for my own empty acceptance." By "my own empty acceptance," he means that even if he succeeds in copying another person and feels good about it, he will also know that it is an empty feeling because it is in the model of someone else. Only by blazing his own path was he able to reach for true self-actualization. Self acceptance is not an absolute, and it isn't always positive. If failure to accept yourself pushes you to grow and avoid complacency, then maybe it's better to never accept yourself. A better state of mind can be important too, if one doesn't accept themselves enough, they could lack in confidence or drive. I wonder if there's a name for this spectrum.
When you come in from the very cold, and you clench and unclench your hand, and it moves sluggishly, like you can't move it as fast as you want to. This is an interesting feeling that I don't get to have very often, and so I relish it. It is amusing, maybe, because it is a change in the way my body reponds and acts, but I understand it is temporary and will go away shortly. In that way, it's kind of like a drug, a way to escape our normal bodily function. If I grow old and my body starts being truly unresponsive, I probably won't find it very amusing at all. Let's wait and see!!
It is shocking how quickly the experience of using a car becomes like a natural extension of the body. Metal boxes, wide as several people, moving so fast all around us, killing thousands daily. Powered by frequent tiny explosions of the dangerous fuel whose extraction drains our planet. In my culture, it is an important stepping stone of personal growth to don this metal suit of armor and to use it to your advantage. Sorry to be dramatic. I mean to say, driving a car feels like nothing. It's just like walking. I guess the use of tools is what seperates us from our evolutionary ancestors after all.
Normally I'm here all by myself. But today, you're here reading it. How does it feel? It's OK for me.
2/11/2021
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Related works - Keith Haring Journals, The Bomb by Frank Harris, Rakuen by Indigo La End, Breath of fire 4, Blue Period vol 1. above art by @truffleduster on twitter